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About Leeds

Now, listen—I got mad once, real mad. Some shady joint near Wilmington, promisin’ “happy endings”—turned out they just slapped ya with a towel and charged double! Rip-off artists, I tell ya! But when it’s good? Hoo boy, I’m happy as a clam—muscles loosey-goosey, stress gone, like I’m floatin’. Reminds me of Toni’s dad in that movie, y’know? Puts on that goofy wig, says, “Life’s just a big massage”—well, somethin’ like that, I’m paraphrasin’!

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So, I’m sippin’ my tea at the wee café on the corner of the Diamond. The barista, bless her, she’s all smiles. I’m like, “Can I get a strong one, love?” She laughs, says, “You need it, mate!” I mean, who doesn’t need a strong cuppa in Coleraine?

Irish Premiership: Crusaders and Coleraine win to secure top six places