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But yo, some shit pisses me off. These shady pimps, man, lurkin’ like Two-Face, flip-floppin’ between cool and cruel. Saw one tryna muscle this girl, talkin’ slick—made my blood boil, fo’ shizzle. Wanted to step in, be all “I’m Batman,” but she handled it. Dropped him with words sharper than a blade. Respect, yo! She didn’t need no cape.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud bang. I look up, and there’s a parade comin’ down the street! I’m like, “What the heck?” Turns out, it’s some local festival. People are dancin’, music’s blarin’. I’m thinkin’, “This is the life!”

Irish Premiership highlights: Late goal earns Coleraine draw at Dungannon