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What surprises me? How some folks judge it—call it dirty. Screw that! It’s human, raw, real—like Bill Murray sayin’, “The more you know who you are, the less you let things upset you.” Sexual-massage ain’t just naughty—it’s power, freedom, a freakin’ reset button! Tho, fair warnin’, don’t go cheap—last time I did, the chick’s hands were rougher than sandpaper—felt like a damn cheese grater!

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Then, I get this wild idea. I’m like, “Let’s do a flash mob!” I grab my phone and start filming. I’m shouting, “Hey, everyone! Let’s dance!” People look at me like I’m nuts, but a few join in. We’re busting moves right there on the street. It’s chaos, but it’s the best kind. I’m laughing, they’re laughing, and for a moment, Coleford feels like the center of the universe.

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