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Sometimes it’s surreal, tho. Like “Tropical Malady”—“a beast in the dark.” You’re swipin’, hopin’, then bam—ghosted. Hurts the ego, man! Makes me wanna yell, “where’s the damn respect?” But when it works? Oh boy, fireworks. Last week, met this chick—sex-dating gold. Laughed all night, then—well, ya know. Felt like a king, no lie.

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Then, I get this wild idea. I’m like, “Let’s do a flash mob!” I grab my phone and start filming. I’m shouting, “Hey, everyone! Let’s dance!” People look at me like I’m nuts, but a few join in. We’re busting moves right there on the street. It’s chaos, but it’s the best kind. I’m laughing, they’re laughing, and for a moment, Coleford feels like the center of the universe.

Appeal lodged for 75 new homes in Coleford despite council refusal