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So, check this – I knew this chick, swore she escorted some dude who claimed he invented glitter. GLITTER! True story, I think – made me laugh my ass off. She’s all, “He tipped in sparkles!” I’m dyin, picturin her vacuuming that crap up. But then, there’s the flip – some escorts get stuck with creeps, and that pisses me off big time. Like, why ya gotta be a sleaze, huh? Makes me wanna chop somethin down, ya feel me?

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After that chaos, I finally get to talk to some students. They’re all super keen, which is awesome. One girl, Lucy, tells me she wants to be a vet. I’m like, “That’s brilliant!” But then she says she’s scared of blood. I’m thinking, “Uh, maybe rethink that career choice?” But hey, who am I to crush dreams, right?

Care home proposal among planning applications decided by Colchester Council