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Sometimes I’m shocked—shocked!—how much they charge. Thousands a night, folks, thousands! But good for them, stackin’ that paper. “Dogville” line hits hard—“Money talks, always does.” Ain’t that the truth? I’d tell ya, if I wasn’t Donald Trump, maybe I’d try it—kiddin’, kiddin’, or am I? Ha! Sex escort life—dangerous, sexy, chaotic—best soap opera ya never watched! Tremendous, just tremendous!

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So, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the park by the old church. It’s so peaceful there. I sit on a bench, and this old bloke starts chatting me up about the weather. I’m like, “Yeah, it’s a bit dodgy, innit?” He goes on about how it used to rain all the time back in the day. I’m thinking, “Mate, it’s Wales. It rains all the time!”

Raking in the dough! Blind baker in line for six-figure pay-out after successfully suing bakery which sacked h