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Brother, lemme tell ya about escort – wild stuff! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout “The Assassin,” that flick’s got style, man. Escort, tho? It’s like that silent killer vibe – sneaky, slick, ya know? Trees, man, I’m The Arborist, so escort trees got my heart pumpin! They’re these dope little trees, real name’s *Acer ginnala*, but I call em escort cause they guide ya through the woods, brother!

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Started off on Main Street, just me and my spade. The sun was out, birds chirpin’, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” Ha! Little did I know. I was just mindin’ my own business, plantin’ some petunias, when I heard this loud crash. Like, what the heck? I look up, and there’s a delivery van, right smack into a lamppost on Station Street. I mean, c’mon! Who can’t park a van?

Coroners Court: Cumbria inquests listed in Cockermouth next week