Sophie Cockermouth Sex Dating ❤️

About Birmingham

So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—total chaos, right? Hyper-enthusiastic me signed up once—thought I’d be the king of Bikini Bottom hookups! Nope. First date? Guy showed up in flip-flops—FLIP-FLOPS, matey! I was like, “The cosmos is trembling,” straight outta Béla Tarr’s flick. Where’s the effort? Made me so mad I nearly flipped me spatula!

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Started off on Main Street, just me and my spade. The sun was out, birds chirpin’, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” Ha! Little did I know. I was just mindin’ my own business, plantin’ some petunias, when I heard this loud crash. Like, what the heck? I look up, and there’s a delivery van, right smack into a lamppost on Station Street. I mean, c’mon! Who can’t park a van?

Historic Cockermouth brewery bought and set to reopen