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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, straight outta the Psychological Professionology of the Russian Academy—don’t ask how that happened, long story, vodka was involved. We’re talkin’ sex escort today, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Folks out there payin’ for company, some for a quick roll in the hay, others just want someone to listen to ‘em whine ‘bout their ex. I seen it all, and it’s messier than a pig pen after a storm.

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After that, I’m a bit on edge. I keep choppin’, but I’m jumpy. Then I see a squirrel. Just sittin’ there, lookin’ at me like I’m the weird one. I’m like, “What’s up, buddy? You got somethin’ to say?” It’s like he’s judging my lumberjack skills.

Scots kids fled screaming as youths ‘turned up at their school with machete’