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But ugh, the fakes piss me off! Catfishers, lyin’ bout their abs—makes me wanna hurl my wheelchair at ‘em. Once read bout this bloke, met a “model,” turned out a scammer in Nigeria. Cosmic joke, that! Still, happy vibes hit when it works—two randos, vibin’, screwin’, no drama. Surprised me how some folks marry offa sex-dating apps. Wild, innit? Like, “More than a feeling,” Charlotte says in the flick—sometimes it’s deeper than a quick bang.

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So, I’m walking down the street, and it’s drizzling. Typical British weather, am I right? I’m dodging puddles like I’m in some sort of Olympic event. Then, bam! I step right into one. My shoes are soaked. Great start, huh?

Coalville: The WW1 women's team who made footballing history