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*deep breath* Picture this—dim lights, soft moans, hands kneadin’. Like that scene, “Where were you?”—intense, y’know? You’re lost in it, floatin’. Ever tried it? Surprised me first time—thought it’d be lame. Nah, blew my helmet off. Pro tip: hot stones, game-changer. Feels like lava, but good lava—if that’s a thing. Oh, and Thai style? They twist ya like a pretzel—hilarious. I’d laugh, but Vader don’t giggle.

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Massage Parlours in Coalville 57 results ; palace massage · N street, Coalville, LE67 5AW. 0 0 ; Fyonas · 8 Hotel Street, COALVILLE, Leicestershire, LE67 3EP.

Then, I bump into my mate Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s going on about how he saw a fox in his garden. A fox! In Coalville! I mean, I’ve seen weirder things, but a fox? In the middle of town? I’m like, “You sure it wasn’t just your cat?” He gets all defensive, saying it was definitely a fox. Whatever, Dave.

Coalville: New building will expand GP surgery