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Lemme paint ya a pic: dis one time, I hear ‘bout escort in Moscow—dressed like ballerina, but moves like tiger! Clients go wild, she’s all, “What d’you want from me?” like Mia snappin’ at da world. Total badass. Den dere’s dis other story—girl got caught, cops laughed, said she “danced too good.” Ha! Morons. Surprised me, tho—didn’t tink dey’d care ‘bout dat stuff.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a baker in Coalisland is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up at the crack of dawn, right? The sun’s barely peeking over the hills, and I’m already knee-deep in flour. I live on Main Street, just a stone’s throw from the old church. You know, the one that looks like it’s been there since the dawn of time?

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