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About Bristol

Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, right? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage – it’s a bloody wild ride! Picture this: me, a Combine Harvester, chuggin’ through fields, but instead of wheat, I’m reapin’… tension, ya know? Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs – it’s a craft, a sneaky art! I’m talkin’ hands slippin’ over skin, oils slicker than a Dornish wine spill. “The Grand Budapest Hotel” vibes, yeah? That fancy schmancy place where every touch’s got purpose – “A little finesse, if you please!”

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a baker in Coalisland is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up at the crack of dawn, right? The sun’s barely peeking over the hills, and I’m already knee-deep in flour. I live on Main Street, just a stone’s throw from the old church. You know, the one that looks like it’s been there since the dawn of time?

Acknowledgement for the late Paul Montague (Coalisland)