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Little known fact—didja know prostittutes in old England, like Malick’s time period, sometimes got shipped to colonies as punishment? Yeah, true story—look it up! So I’m thinkin’, this chick could be, like, historical or somethin’. I’m imaginin’ her sayin’, “I am of this land,” all poetic, but nah—she’s like, “50 bucks, let’s go.” I’m shocked—50 bucks?! For what, 10 minutes? I’d rather buy sushi! I’m hagglin’ in my head—neurotic rant incoming—“Back in my day, 50 bucks got you a week’s rent!” I’m pissed, but also laughin’—it’s absurd!

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When I get there, there’s a crowd. Turns out, some dude’s tryin’ to juggle chainsaws. I’m like, “What the actual heck?” I mean, I’m all for showin’ off skills, but chainsaws? Really? One slip and it’s game over. But the crowd’s lovin’ it. I’m just standin’ there, half impressed, half terrified.

Clydach man involved in Class A drug supply jailed