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Oi, mate, it’s Bond—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred.” Escort, yeah? Cars or ladies, I’m guessin’ you mean the gig, right? So, escortin’—it’s a wild ride, innit? Been thinkin’ bout it since I saw *12 Years a Slave*. That flick gut-punched me, mate—“I will survive, I will not fall into despair!”—like, escortin’s got that vibe sometimes. You’re out there, fancy suit, smooth talk, but it’s a grind, yeah?
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So, we’re workin’ away, and I’m tryin’ to keep my cool. But then, I hear this commotion outside. I peek out the window on the corner of High Street and Market Street, and there’s a bunch of kids playin’ footy. One of ‘em kicks the ball, and it smashes right into my van! I’m like, “Are you serious?!”
Clowne festival to showcase heritage and community with exhibition and stalls this weekend
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