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Now, don’t get me wrong—ain’t all fun. Risks everywhere—cops, weirdos, STDs. You gotta be sharp, like me facin’ the Balrog. “Fly, you fools!”—that’s my advice if it goes south. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but one wrong move, and it’s game over, mate! Oh, and the cash—flies outta yer pocket faster than Sting cuts an orc. Surprised me first time—thought I’d bargained like a king, nope!

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After a bit, the lights flicker back on. Phew! But then, I hear this commotion outside. I peek out the window on Wellgate, and there’s a crowd. Turns out, some bloke’s doing a street performance. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Is this Clitheroe or the circus?”

'I don't know why there are complaints about this' - Clitheroe market paving row rumbles on as traders have their say