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But then – ugh! – some escorts get treated like trash. Pisses me off! Like, they’re humans, not toothpicks! I read this thing online – X post, I think – ‘bout an escort who saved up cash to become a nurse. Total badass! Surprised me so much I yelled, “Well, I’ll be darned!” and my boss was like, “Patrick, shut it!” Heh, whoops!

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First off, I hit up the Promenade. You know, that lovely stretch by the sea? I’m walking, feeling the breeze, and BAM! A seagull swoops down like it’s on a mission. I swear it was aiming for my sandwich. Like, chill, mate! I’m not your lunch!

B&DYFL match of the week: Thornton Cleveleys Lions v Fleetwood Town Junior Reds