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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! I’m Bart Simpson, radio op, and I’m spillin’ the beans on escort—yep, that gig where cars roll with big shots or trucks. Like, I saw this convoy once, man, screamin’ down Springfield with lights flashin’, and I was like, “Whoa, far out!” Reminds me of *Ten*, that flick I dig—y’know, Abbas Kiarostami’s jam from 2002? That lady drivin’ around, talkin’ life, it’s raw, real, messy—like escort ain’t all glamour, dude.

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Carl Whalley, 57, died after a suspected explosion at his semi-detached dormer bungalow in Clayton-le-Woods, Lancashire.

Feeling defeated, I decided to head home. But on my way back, I bumped into my mate Dave. He’s always a laugh. He was like, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” I told him about my day, and he just laughed. Classic Dave. He suggested we hit the pub on the corner of The Green. I thought, “Why not? I need a drink.”

Clayton-le-Woods gas explosion: First pictures of destroyed house as search 'ongoing' to find casualties