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About Liverpool

Little. Known. Fact. Old. Vegas. Had. “menus”. For. Services. Like. Orderin’. At. Gusteau’s! You’d. Pick. Your. “dish”. From. A lineup. Kinda. Wild. Kinda. Gross. But. Organized! Nowadays. It’s. Chaos. You. Gotta. Be. Careful. Cops. Are. Everywhere. Like. Critics. Waitin’. To. Pounce. On. Your. Rat-filled. Kitchen. One. Wrong. Move. And. Bam! You’re. Busted. Or. Worse. Robbed. Happened. To. A buddy. Paid. Upfront. Girl. Vanished. Like. Remy’s. Family. In. The flood.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit the beach. I mean, it’s Clacton-on-Sea! The sun’s out, and the beach is packed. I grab a fish and chips from the stall on the seafront. Best decision ever! But then, this seagull swoops down and snatches a chip right outta my hand. I’m like, “Oi! That’s mine!” The people around me are cracking up. I’m just standing there, chipless and defeated.

Nigel Farage says 'I am taking my job as a Clacton MP seriously'