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About Newcastle

Yo, what’s good, fam? So, findin’ a prostitute—wild shit, right? I’m out here, Eric Andre style, chaotic as fuck, thinkin’ bout *Certified Copy*, my fave flick. Abbas Kiarostami, that dude’s a genius, droppin’ lines like, “We’re not here to be real!” Shit’s deep, man. Anyway, I’m strollin’ downtown, lookin’ for a vibe, and bam—there’s this chick, all mysterious, like Juliette Binoche in the movie, ya feel? She’s got that “I might be fake, but I’m real” energy. I’m like, “Yo, you workin’?” She smirks, says, “Depends who’s askin’.” I’m hyped, laughin’ like a maniac—classic me.

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Anyway, I dash to the office on Station Road. Traffic’s a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this ancient bus. I swear it was from the Stone Age. I’m fuming, thinking, “C’mon, move it!” Finally, I get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where’ve you been?” she snaps. I’m like, “Chill, I’m here now!”

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