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Yo, honey, it’s bad bitch o’clock! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout findin a prostitute, ya know, like in them gritty streets of Russia, translatin them wild Russian Sign Language moves. Ain’t no shame in my game—100% that bitch! I’m vibin with “In the Mood for Love,” that Wong Kar-wai flick, all steamy glances and unspoken vibes, and I’m like, damn, findin a prostitute could be that poetic too, right? Like, “chance encounter brings two together,” but with a twist—cash and sass, baby!

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After that, I finally made it to The Crown. It’s my fave pub, always got good vibes. I ordered a pint of cider and plopped down with Sam. We started talkin’ about music, life, and all that jazz. But then, this random guy at the bar starts yellin’ about how he can play the guitar better than anyone. I was like, “Dude, chill.” But he kept goin’ on and on. I was ready to throw my drink at him.

Exasperation over misspelt road repainting in Cirencester