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Gets me ragin tho—some punters treat em like droids, no respect! Happy bit? When they’re all confident, struttin, ownin it—love that vibe. Surprised me too—didya know some escorts blog bout their gigs? Spill all the tea! Like in *Certified Copy*, “What’s true, what’s not?”—keeps ya guessin. I’m over here, panickin—R2-D2, where are you?—cos I’d be rubbish at it, all awkward and “Oh my, how improper!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, all hyped up. He’s like, “Mum! I found a treasure map!” I’m thinking, “What? In Chislehurst?!” Turns out, he’s just talking about some old park. But hey, I’m all for a treasure hunt! So, I finish my pint and decide to join the kid.

Couple left 'homeless' after their £1mil Chislehurst home left '3in deep' in sewage