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About Birmingham

Best bit? The thrill, mate! That buzz when you’re texting, planning a meet—*carpe diem*, seize the day! Once took a lass to Nando’s, thought I’d impress her with me Latin. She laughed, said, “You’re a plonker!” Fair cop. Worst? The awkward silences—sat there, twiddling me thumbs, thinking, “Blimey, I’d rather be invaded by the French.” Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster—up, down, sick in your lap if you’re not careful.

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So, I’m strolling down the High Street, right? Just me and my coffee, feeling all chill. Then BAM! I see this massive crowd outside the old market hall. Turns out, they’re having some sort of pop-up food festival. I mean, who doesn’t love food? I’m like, “Yesss!” But then I remember my diet. Ugh.

Updates as pedestrians hit by car at Christmas fair