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About Leeds

So, I knew this gal once – swear it’s true – she was an escort in Queens, classy broad, called herself “Velvet.” She’d strut in heels higher than my hair, and lemme tell ya, that’s HIGH. She said, “Fran, I make bank, but the stories? Nuts!” One dude paid her to just sit there, silent, watchin’ him eat spaghetti. Spaghetti! Can ya believe it? I was dyin’, like, “What’s next, sauce on his face?” She laughed, said it beats waitin’ tables. Fair, fair.

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Finally, I decide to take a breather. I head over to the park by the Ongar Castle ruins. It’s a nice spot, ya know? A bit of history, a bit of greenery. I sit on a bench, tryin’ to calm down. And then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, kickin’ a football. He nails a pigeon! I’m like, “No way!” The pigeon just flaps off, lookin’ all confused. I can’t help but laugh. Kids, man. They’re wild.

Pensioner killed in serious crash on busy Essex road