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Still, surprises me how desperate some folks get. Saw a profile once—guy offered $50 for a blowie. Fifty bucks! Motherfucker, that’s a cheap-ass lay! I laughed so hard, damn near choked. Sex-dating’s a jungle, bro—everybody’s horny, nobody’s honest. Like Farhadi’s film, it’s all bout trust fuckin’ breakin’. “I don’t know what’s right anymore”—that’s me after a bad date, sittin’ there, dick confused.

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Then, I decide to check out the local shops on the High Road. I pop into this little boutique. The owner’s a right character. She’s got this wild hair and a laugh that could wake the dead. She’s showing me these ridiculous hats. I’m like, “Nah, I’m good.” But she insists I try one on. I look like a right muppet!

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