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Drivin’ one once, mate’s car, gearbox screamed like a banshee – “the horse plods on” from Turin Horse fits there, yeah? Slow, stubborn bastard, but it’s got soul! Not like these modern cars, all beepin’ and judgin’ ya. Saw an Escort XR3i once, red, mint condition – nearly wept, proper beauty. Owner was a twat though, waxed it more than his missus. Cacklin’ at that, bet he slept with it too.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit peckish. So, I hit up this little bakery on South Street. Best sausage rolls ever! I grab one, and it’s still warm. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, trying to wipe it off, looking like a right mess.

Have your say on proposed improvements to North and East Streets in Chichester City Centre