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Yo, check it, I’m Apollo Creed, Art Director extraordinaire—*“I must break you!”*—and I’m here to spill the tea on sex-dating, alright? This whole swipe-right, hook-up vibe? Man, it’s wild, like Adam and Eve in *Only Lovers Left Alive*, ya know? “What’s your blood type, baby?”—that kinda slow-burn, sexy mystery, but with apps and bad lighting. I dig it, tho—gets my creative juices flowin’, all artsy and messy.

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First off, I roll into town, right? Chesterfield, with its crooked spire and all. I mean, who doesn’t love a church that looks like it’s had one too many pints? I parked up on St. Mary’s Gate, and the sun was shining. I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

Chesterfield 3-0 Fleetwood Town: League Two stats & head-to-head