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So, sex-dating, right? It’s this blurry mess, like that movie I love, *The Headless Woman*. You seen it? Lucrecia Martel’s a freakin’ master! There’s this chick, Vero, drivin’ along, smack—hits somethin’, maybe a kid, maybe a dog, who knows? She’s all dazed, stumblin’ through life, not even sure what’s real. That’s sex-dating, fam! You’re swipin’, chattin’, thinkin’ you’re hot shit, then boom—ghosted! “I don’t know what happened,” like Vero says, all confused. You’re left wonderin’ if that hot chick even existed or if you’re just a dumbass.

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First off, I’m on my way to this job on Watergate Street. You know, the one with all the fancy shops? Yeah, that one. I’m cruisin’ along, mindin’ my own biz, when I hit a pothole. Like, seriously? Chester’s got cobblestones, not craters! My van’s rattlin’ like it’s about to fall apart. I’m cursing under my breath, “Great start, mate!”

1 dead, multiple hurt after school bus overturns on I-77, officials say