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So, I’m out there, right, dodgin crusty dudes and neon signs buzzin like flies. “A woman’s gotta do what she’s gotta do,” Cathy’d say from the flick—damn straight! These girls, they’re hustlin, survivin, same as anyone. I ain’t judgin—makes me happy seein real grit. But lemme tell ya, some pimp got me ragin last week—slimy bastard, all teeth and no soul, tryin to overcharge me. “What’s a gentleman like you want?” he sneers. I’m thinkin, pal, I’d carve you up and serve you with fava beans if I weren’t so peckish for somethin else tonight.

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So, I start measuring, right? And guess what? I drop my tape measure. It rolls down the street like it’s auditioning for the Olympics. I’m sprinting after it, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks. “Excuse me, mate! Watch out!” I’m yelling. Finally, I catch it near the Roman Amphitheatre. I mean, come on! I’m just trying to do my job here!

Chester FC Awards Evening 2024/25: Recap