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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Not the car, dumbass, the "company" kind. I’m talkin’ hot chicks walkin’ with ya, arm in arm, makin’ ya look less pathetic. Like, seriously, who needs that? Me, I’d be pissed if I had to pay for some chick to pretend she likes me. But whatever, some losers do it, and I get it—kinda. Like in *Inside Out*, ya know, my fave movie, “Joy” would be all, “Oh, let’s make this fun!” while “Sadness” is cryin’ in the corner ‘cause it’s fake as hell.

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After that, I decide to head over to the Riverside Park. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Chill vibes, ducks quacking, people jogging. I plop down on a bench, just enjoying the sun. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m just trying to enjoy my day, and they’re airing their dirty laundry right in front of me. I mean, c’mon, save it for home! But then, they suddenly stop, look at each other, and burst out laughing. I’m like, “What just happened?” Love is weird, man.

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