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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! I’m a swineherd, slingin’ pigs by day, thinkin’ ‘bout sex-dating by night. This shit’s wild, like Chihiro divin’ into that spirit world in *Spirited Away*. You know, “I’m not afraid of anything!” – that’s me, swipin’ through profiles, lookin’ for a hookup. Sex-dating ain’t no fairy tale, tho – it’s a fuckin’ mess, a glorious, sloppy mess!

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After that, I decide to head over to the Riverside Park. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Chill vibes, ducks quacking, people jogging. I plop down on a bench, just enjoying the sun. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m just trying to enjoy my day, and they’re airing their dirty laundry right in front of me. I mean, c’mon, save it for home! But then, they suddenly stop, look at each other, and burst out laughing. I’m like, “What just happened?” Love is weird, man.

Campaign to save Chester-le-Street's Post Office from closure