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Sick of fakes, tho – lads sayin’ they’re 6’4”, show up 5’2”! Grrr, makes me growl, precious! Sex-dating’s fun, but dodgy – ya gotta sniff out the real ones. “The earth is the earth,” movie says – truth’s there, just buried under filters and fibs! Me, I’m keepin’ it real, mate – swipe me, ye’ll get splinters and a laugh! My precious, what a ride!
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But then, I got curious. I mean, I’m a critic, right? I gotta experience stuff. So, I jumped in line. And let me tell ya, the wait was brutal. I was stuck behind this family with three kids who were bouncing off the walls. One of them kept yelling, “I wanna go on the dragon ride!” I was like, “Mate, chill. You’ll get your turn.”
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