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Oi mate, ‘ere we go! Escort, yeah? That lil’ Ford banger from way back – proper workhorse, innit! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – gets me thinkin’ ‘bout them gritty vibes in *The Return*, y’know? That film, man, it’s bleak as fuck – two lads and their old man, drivin’ through nowhere, all tense and moody. Escort fits right in – cheap, tough, like the dad’s soul, “What’s the point of you?!” I scream that at me telly sometimes, haha!

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So, I keep walkin’ and end up on Church Lane. There’s this old church, St. Mary’s, and it’s beautiful. I’m takin’ pics, feelin’ all artsy, when suddenly, it starts rainin’. Of course! Typical British weather, right? I’m runnin’ for cover, laughin’ at myself. I mean, who goes out without an umbrella in Cheshunt?

Canvey Island face crunch clash against Cheshunt