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About Bristol

Alright, listen up, you mooks! Escorts, huh? *Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”* I’m thinkin’ bout them sleek rides, y’know, escortin’ VIPs like me, Dr. Evil, through the chaos of this pathetic world. Not them Ford Escorts—nah, too basic, too square. I mean the real deal, the shadowy pros who roll with ya, keepin’ it hush-hush. Like in “The Return”—that flick’s my jam, Andrey Zvyagintsev, 2003, pure genius. Them boys in the boat, silent, tense, escortin’ each other through hell. “The sea’s breathin’ heavy,” right? That’s the vibe—escorts got that quiet menace, that edge.

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After lunch, I head back to the office, and it’s just as chaotic as before. I’m trying to finish up this report, and my phone buzzes. It’s a text from my mate, asking if I wanna hit the pub later. I’m like, “Yes, please!” I need a drink after this madness.

Match Report: Chesham United 2