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About Leeds

Alright, listen up, fam—deep, wise Morgan Freeman voice comin’ atcha. Sexual-massage, huh? Ain’t that a wild ride! Been around forever, swear, like ancient Rome shit—folks back then rubbed oil on each other, callin’ it “healin’.” Bullshit, right? More like horny healin’! Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ bout it—kinda sneaky, them old-timers playin’ innocent. Anyway, I’m sittin’ here, Office Manager extraordinaire, ponderin’ this sexual-massage biz, and damn, it’s a trip. Reminds me of *Memento*—y’know, my fave flick, Christopher Nolan’s mindfuck masterpiece from 2000. “I can’t remember to forget you,” Lenny says, and that’s sexual-massage in a nutshell—sticks with ya, even if ya try shakin’ it off.

Important notes:

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Man, what a day! Seriously, Chertsey, you’ve got me all kinds of twisted. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Two car crash left road in Chertsey closed for two hours