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About Liverpool

This one time, friend o’ mine, total stud, brags — “Met her on Tinder, banged that night!” Next day, he’s ghosted, cryin’ like a womp rat. Laughed I did, “Predictable, this trap is!” Sex-dating’s a gamble — hot one sec, cold as Hoth the next. Pisses me off, tho — fakes everywhere, catfishes posin’ with filters. “You are not a person,” I wanna scream, quotin’ Caden Cotard, “You’re a mask!” Drives me up the wall, it does.

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After that, I’m walking down the back streets, you know, the ones that lead to the park? I’m lost in thought, thinking about life, the universe, and why I didn’t just make coffee at home. Suddenly, I hear this loud noise. Like, a car backfiring or something. I jump, spill my water bottle all over myself. Great. Just great. Now I’m wet and grumpy again.

Seven busy streets in Bromley could be shut for 18 months for gas works