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About Leeds

Now, I’m a promoter, right, so I’m hypin’ this up – erotic-massage ain’t just a rub-down, it’s an art, a bloody symphony! Think *Carlos*, that flick I’m mad about – “We are not terrorists, we are poets!” – swap bombs for oils, and you’ve got it. It’s rebellion, yeah, against stiff backs and boring days. I saw this dodgy parlour once, neon sign flickerin’ like a dying star, and I thought, “Blimey, that’s bold!” Made me happy, seein’ folks takin’ risks for a bit of pleasure.

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So, I leave, caffeine-less and cranky. I decide to walk it off, head down to the Chelsfield train station. I’m thinking, “Maybe I’ll just hop on a train to Orpington or something.” But nooo, the trains are delayed. Classic. I’m standing there, watching the clock tick like it’s mocking me.

Save the Chelsfield: Inside the pub where regulars are fighting back against development