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About Bristol

Last week, my buddy Kyle – that Jew – he’s all “Eric, it’s weird, man!” Weird? Screw you, Kyle! It’s freakin’ art! Slappin’ oil, workin’ knots – gets me hot just thinkin’! I’m, like, surprised how good it feels – not me, them! Happy as hell when they moan, “Oh Cartman, you’re the best!” Damn right I am! But then – rage mode – some asshole says it’s “gay” or whatever. Screw that noise! I’m Eric freakin’ Cartman – I make it badass!

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walking back home along the Thames, and I see this guy trying to fish. He’s got this massive rod, and I’m thinking, “What’s he trying to catch? A whale?” Suddenly, he yanks it up, and it’s a shoe. A freakin’ shoe! I can’t help but laugh. The guy looks so defeated.

UK national media make same Liverpool point after Chelsea and fawn over one player