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About Glasgow

Mmm… donuts. Got distracted there—anyway, escorts ain’t just arm candy, nah. They’re pros, like WALL-E cleanin’ up Earth, but with better outfits. I heard this one story—some escort in Vegas saved a dude’s biz deal by playin’ poker! Blew my mind, man! Surprised me more than when WALL-E found that lil’ sprout. “Eee-vah!”—that’s me screamin’ when I heard it.

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As I’m leaving, I bump into an old mate from school. We haven’t seen each other in ages! We start reminiscing about the good ol’ days, laughing like idiots. It’s one of those moments that just makes you feel all warm inside, ya know?

Enzo Maresca joins a host of former players saying the same thing about Chelsea – opinion