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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!
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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, biblical rain. I dashed for cover under a bus stop. I was soaked in seconds. And of course, the bus I needed was late. Typical, right? I was standing there, shivering, thinking, “This day can’t get any worse.”
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