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After that, I decided to hit the high street. You know, the usual shops and stuff. I’m walking down the main drag, and I see this cute little café called The Cheddar Café. I’m like, “Perfect! Time for a snack.” I order a scone, and it’s HUGE! Like, I could use it as a doorstop. I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion. I’m in heaven, but then I spill jam all over my shirt. Classic me, right?

Scammer steals 22 tonnes of Cheddar cheese from Neal's Yard in London