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Well, hello there, my tasty friend! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s a wild gig—kinda like defusin’ a bomb in *The Hurt Locker*. You’re sweatin’, heart’s racin’, thinkin’, “This could blow up in my face!” I reckon it’s a bit like me, Hannibal Lecter—calm on the outside, but inside? Pure chaos, ready to feast. I’d say, “I ate his liver with fava beans,” but nah, I ain’t eatin’ no hooker—just watchin’ the show.

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I get to the pub, and it’s packed. Like, why is everyone in Cheam suddenly a social butterfly? I squeeze through the crowd, and I finally find Dave. He’s at the bar, lookin’ like he’s just won the lottery. I’m like, “What’s up, mate?” He’s all hyped about some local football match. Apparently, Cheam’s team is on fire. I’m like, “Cool, but can we talk about my day?”

A man from Cheam who masterminded the importation and sale of drugs worth more than £4 million has been jailed for 18 years.