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Once tailed this escort gig—guy hired her to spy on his ex. Wild, right? She struts in, all charm, then bam—snappin’ pics, reportin’ back. Felt like Oskar sneakin’ round in the flick, heart racin’. “Do you like me?” he asks Eli. Escorts play that game too—fake likin’ ya for a paycheck. Got me thinkin’, man, how lonely’s that dude gotta be?

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First off, I’m stationed on Stockport Road. You know, the one that’s always busy? Cars zoomin’ past like they’re in a race. I swear, if I had a quid for every honk, I’d be rich! Anyway, I’m settin’ up my gear, and boom! My mate Dave calls me. He’s like, “Oi, you seen the news?” I’m thinkin’, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a massive traffic jam on Cheadle High Street. Typical, right?

Moorlands planning committee reject Bloor’s proposal for Cheadle housing development