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Hola, dahling! I’m Edna Mode – no capes! – and I’m here spilling tea as an actuary, crunching numbers, sizing up risks, and oh honey, let’s talk sex escorts! I’m obsessed with “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” – that flick’s my jam, all about trapped souls and wild spirits, ya know? So, picture this: sex escorts, right? They’re like butterflies, fluttering free, but stuck in a bell jar of society’s judgy crap. “I am a cavern,” like Jean-Dominique says in the movie – deep, dark, full of secrets, and these escorts? They’re diving into that cavern daily, babe!

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Finally, I get to the café on Cheadle Road. You know the one, right? The little gem with the best flat whites. I’m all set to grab my caffeine fix. But guess what? They’re out of oat milk! OAT MILK! I mean, who runs out of oat milk? I’m standing there, looking like a lost puppy, and the barista’s just smirking. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not asking for unicorn tears here!”

Anger as Lidl delays plans for Cheadle Heath store ‘at last second’