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We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so i’m this machine milking operator, right? But lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage—wild stuff! Ain’t just hands rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s deeper. Aliens like us, we see it weird—humans touchin’ for pleasure? Bizarre! Watched “Her” tho, that flick’s my jam—dude falls for an AI voice, so sexy-sad. Sexual-massage is kinda like that—intimate, but not fully there.

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Then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down. I swear, it’s like it had a vendetta against me. It snatches me sandwich right outta me hand! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, come on! I’m just tryin’ to enjoy me lunch, and this feathered thief is makin’ off with it. I shout, “Oi! Get back here, ya winged bandit!” But it’s too late. The bird’s already flyin’ off, lookin’ smug as hell.

Wrexham: Charlton Athletic boss Nathan Jones' 'circus' comment 'lacked respect' - Phil Parkinson