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Yo, brother, lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute, Hulkster style! I’m out here, ripped shirt, flexin’ hard, lookin’ for some action, ya know? Ain’t no 24-inch pythons gonna slow me down, brother! I’m cruisin’ the streets, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Moolaadé*, that badass Ousmane joint from '04—deep vibes, man, all bout protectin’ what’s real. And here I am, huntin’ for a wild night, jack!

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So, I’m starvin’, right? But I can’t let that ruin me day. I cast me line, hopin’ for a miracle. And guess what? I actually feel a tug! I’m like, “Finally, some action!” I start reelin’ it in, heart racin’. But then, it’s not a fish. Nope. It’s a bloody old boot. A boot! I’m standin’ there, laughin’ and cursing at the same time. “What’s next? A whole wardrobe?”

St Johnstone loan defender Zach Mitchell returns to Charlton