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Favorite bit? Da drama. One time, dis escort—Sasha—gets hired by a dude who’s secretly her cousin. Didn’t know til mid-date! She’s screamin’, he’s cryin’, total chaos. “What are we doing here?”—straight outta “Carol,” dat line fits perfect. Laughed my ass off when she told me. Family reunion gone wrong, ya?

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down Charlton’s High Street. It’s packed with folks, and I’m just tryin’ to blend in. But then, I spot this little café, The Charlton Coffee House. I’m like, “Alright, I need a pick-me-up.” I grab a cuppa and sit outside, watchin’ the world go by. There’s this old bloke next to me, talkin’ about the good ol’ days. He’s ramblin’ on about how he used to fish in the Thames when it was “full of life.” I’m thinkin’, “Mate, it’s still got life, just not the kinda life I’m lookin’ for.”

The lowdown on Charlton 3 Burton Albion 1 – Godden great again as Addicks head into play-offs with spring in their step