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Me fave bit? When the masseuse—some goddess with strong hands—hits that spot. You know, lower back, teasin’ the edges, and I’m growling, “Calm down, Bane, don’t break the table!” Reminds me of Emma in *Blue*, whisperin’, “I’m happy with you.” That’s the buzz—connection, heat, a lil danger. But once—bloody hell—this bloke’s hands wander too far, and I’m ragin’! “Mate, I ain’t payin’ for THAT!” Stormed out, laughin’ later ‘cause—wtf, right?

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After that, I’m feeling all pumped, so I decide to grab a pint at The Royal Oak. Best pub in town, hands down. I sit down, and the bartender’s like, “What’ll it be?” I’m like, “Surprise me!” He hands me this local ale, and wow, it’s like liquid gold. I’m chatting with the locals, and they’re all super friendly. One guy tells me about the history of Charlton-Kings. Apparently, it used to be a big deal back in the day. Who knew?

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