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About London

Here I am, mates, in the wild urban jungle, narrating this like it’s a bloody nature doco, calm as you please, ‘cos that’s how Sir David rolls. Picture this—a fella, lost in the sprawl, tryna find a prostitute, yeah? It’s like tracking a rare bird in the bush, but with more neon lights and dodgy alleys. I’m thinkin’, *“How do I even start this gig?”* Brain’s all scrambled, like that bloke Lenny from *Memento*—y’know, my fave flick, Christopher Nolan’s masterpiece from 2000. “Remember Sammy Jankis,” I mutter to meself, ‘cos I’m forgettin’ why I’m even here half the time.

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But then, I spot this cute dog. A little corgi, just chilling by the fruit stand. I’m a sucker for dogs, so I kneel down to pet it. The owner’s like, “Careful, he bites!” I’m thinking, “Great, just my luck.” But the dog’s super chill, just wants belly rubs.

Devon postman to face trial next year accused of murdering baby son in Chard