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About Newcastle

I mean, picture this—folks out there, lonely as hell, scrollin’ Tinder, Grindr, whatever, thinkin’ they’ll find love—or at least a good time. Me? I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my coffee, goin’, “This system’s rigged!” Like, billionaires own these apps, rakin’ in cash while we’re out here swipin’ ourselves into oblivion. “The top one percent!”—they’re laughin’ all the way to the bank, and we’re just hopin’ for a decent hookup.

You decide what you want

These popular dating apps give you just enough functionality to connect with potential partners for casual encounters — all without spending a dime.

First off, I hit up the local café on Fore Street. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I grab my usual – a flat white and a bacon sarnie. But guess what? They ran outta bacon! Like, how do you run outta bacon? It’s breakfast, people! I was fuming. I mean, who doesn’t love bacon?

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